Poetry: Five Funny Valentines Day Poems for Cards

Quick Take

Funny Valentine’s Day poems are great ways to break the norms and traditions of Valentine’s Day if you and your significant other prefer humor in your lives or maybe you just want to make a friend laugh. We have gathered some great funny Valentine’s Day poems for you to use on your cards.

On this page

Funny Valentines Day Poems

It’s kind of difficult to find funny Valentines Day poems because it’s not traditionally a holiday where you are supposed to make a lot of jokes. However, I have always been told that the key to a fantastic relationship has always been humor and so I wanted to provide you with a collection of silly, fun, and bubbly poems!

So, here are five relatively family friendly and safe for work, funny Valentines Day poems for you to use on your Valentines Day cards and other DTP projects.

Sweet Mystery

For Valentines Day,

My husband, so sweet,

Bought hand made chocolates,

For me as a treat.

In a flower covered box,

Came the delicious confection,

But I am at a loss to answer.

A most curious question.

How can two pounds of chocs,

So delicious on the lips,

Manage in just one night,

To put 5lbs on my hips?

The traditional eating too much sweets humor is always a fan favorite so it had to show up here in this article at some point. This poem is probably best sent as an e-card to friends and family members.

Source: https://www.love-poetry.net/funny-valentine-poems/

Stuck On You

You were so distant

Now we’re as one

Thanks to some duct tape

And a glue gun

This one is short, silly, and fun. Give it to a friend or your love interest and maybe threaten them by holding up a roll of duct tape or glue gun.

Source: https://www.love-poetry.net/twisted-funny-valentine-poems/

Roses Are Red

Roses are Red

Violets are blue

So why the heck aren’t they called Blues?

I mean,

That’s really stupid.

It’s false advertising.

And I cannot support it.

So it just doesn’t feel right to buy flowers for you

For Valentine’s Day.

But in an attempt to only support

Things that really are the color they are named after,

Here is a Valentine’s orange!

You’re welcome!

This literal humor poem is great for a quick chuckle and the best choice out of this list to send to your significant other. Obviously, this poem is best given on a card , alongside a Valentines Day orange.

Source: https://www.innocentenglish.com/funny-poems-songs/funny-valentines-day-poems-sweet.html

Smitten

You are the bow

I am the arrow

You are the wheel

I am the barrow

You are the cripple

I am the crutch

You are the rabbit

I am the hutch

You are the hand

I am the glove

Yes, I’m a mitten

Smitten by love

Puns are the best type of humor, bar none. So this poem had to make an appearance in this article at some point. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Source: https://www.funny-poems.co.uk/valentines/

Weird Uncle

Don’t be surprised,

If you see a little naked guy,

With a bow and arrow,

Running around your neighbourhood.

My weird Uncle Henry,

Is loose again.

The second to last line of this poem can be changed up to fit your uncle’s name or perhaps a friend who is weird. Definitely great to send to family and friends. (Unless you want to reveal to your significant other that you have a weird uncle!)

Source: https://www.imag-e-nation.com/valentines _day_verses_poems_quotes.htm