5. Condemn Them to Holding Hell
"Do you mind if I put you on hold?"
"Yes! Wait, I..." Too late. You've just been condemned to holding hell. If you are lucky, you've only been sentenced to the first level, which means that a human being really will get back on the line with you (after making you wait an interminable length of time). This person may or may not try to help you with your question or problem, depending on the level of the company's commitment to customer service.
However, if you are unlucky, you'll be transferred to lower and lower levels until you reach the bottom of the holding hell pit. This has happened to my husband so often that he is developing a mobile app to connect all those poor lost souls in Holding Hell. The app would give them the opportunity to share their horror stories in real-time. The conversations would go something like this:
"Hey, this is Joe in Joppa. I'm at 10 minutes and holding...can anyone beat that?"
"Hey, Joe! Charlie in Virginia here. Got ya beat at 25 and holding. Good thing I'm hands free...I just rebuilt an airplane engine while I waited."
Putting customers on hold or shuffling them off to automatic answering services or programs just isn't popular. Instead of choosing option one or two, they may just choose another vendor.