written by: Nicky LaMarco•edited by: Ronda Bowen•updated: 7/8/2010
Check out these hilarious time management jokes.
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Joke 1: Always Late
Sarah was always late to work no matter how much she tried to be on time, or how many times her boss scolded her. She just could not wake up on time. Her boss said she would fire her if it did not stop. Sarah decided to seek the advice of her doctor. He prescribed her some medication and told her to take one pill before going to sleep. She did and she woke up before the alarm clock sounded and headed into work feeling well rested. Sarah told her boss about the doctor’s prescription and how well it worked. Her boss said, “That is great, Sarah, but where were you yesterday?"
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Joke 2: Talking Too Much
A time management expert at a conference was to give a speech about her success in business and how time management plays a huge part of business success. She engaged the crowd and they seemed to love her. She was giving tips and sharing success stories. Suddenly, she realized she had been talking for two hours! She stopped to apologize to the wary group and explained that she had left her watch at home. A voice came from the audience, “There is a calendar next to you".
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Joke 3: Time Confusion
A little girl is out school shopping with her mom. She sees her mom ask a stranger if they have the time. The stranger answers, “Sure. It’s 11:00". The little girl thought it was great that people were so helpful. So, later in the day she asked someone if they had the time. “Sure, sweetie. It’s 11:15," they answer. The little girl suddenly grows suspicious. So, she asks someone else. “It’s 11:18," they answer. The little girl grows frustrated. “Mom! Why does everyone keep giving me a different answer than you got?"
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Joke 4: The Talking Clock
A young man had just gotten his first apartment and was excited about it. After a night out with his buddies he brought them to his new apartment to show them. “I even have a talking clock," the young man bragged. “What? A talking clock? What do you mean?" They asked. While showing off the living room the guests noticed a large gong in the corner. “What the heck is that?" One of them asked. “That’s the talking clock I was telling you about", he answers with a smile. He picked up a large mallet and aimed it at the gong. He pulled back and hit it with some force making a booming sound throughout the apartment. His buddies just looked at each other like he was crazy. Suddenly, a voice came from the other side of the wall, “Knock it off it’s 4 in the morning!"