As Promised, Here's the List
1. Going forward. This is simply unnecessary nonsense. What’s the alternative, the opposite? Going backwards? "Going backwards, we will..." what? Sack the guy who stole from us? Who the heck says that? Better: From now on.
2. Skillset. There are three too many letters in this word. Try: Skills.
3. Low-hanging fruit. Where do you work? A farm? An orchard? If you can answer in the affirmative, then you can carry on. If not, try: Quick-wins.
4. Talent acquisition. What is this? Er... it’s recruitment, Jim.
5. Reach out. Oh, please! How stranded in a middle of a river are you? Try: Ask someone else.
6. Share with. Telling people things you ought to is part of your job.
7. Piece of work. Three words instead of... project. That’s enough – project.
8. Cascade. Again, this is a word designed to make you feel important. Use "brief" instead, as in "I am going to brief my team..." rather than "I am going to shower them with cascading spittle..." (P.S. You should be doing this anyway.)
9. Deliverables. Are you a courier? No, you’re probably not, are you? So, use: outcomes. Or results. Or "the point of the bloody exercise."
10. Onboarding. Ugh! No such word. It’s recruiting. Or inducting. (And I don’t like "inducting" much either!)
11. Agile. Are you a mountain antelope? A gymnast? No, didn’t think so. Just use "responsive."
12. Best of Breed. OK, only if in a dog show.
13. Client-centric. No sh*t, Sherlock! Who needs to be told that they ought to be "conscious of customer needs"?
14. Core competency. C’mon! Main skill.
15. Deep dive. Are you going for oysters? No, I thought not. Try: Research, examine in-depth.
16. Granular. Granular? I know what’s granular: sugar. Sugar is granular. Your fancy discussion is: Detailed.
17. Herding cats. Pet show time again.
18. Knowledge Process Outsourcing. My head hurts. Sub-contract.
19. Leverage. Opening something? Starring in The Sopranos? Selling encyclopedias door-to-door? Leverage is a bit aggressive. Why not simply use something to catalyze or facilitate an event?
20. Mission Critical. NASA can use this, but not you. Use: Important. Really, really important.
21. Part of our DNA. Everyone’s DNA is unique. What your business has is a "core value."
22. Peel back the onion. Just don’t.
23. Seamless (integration). "Wallpapering in business" – a primer. Smooth.
24. Touchpoint. Ooh, naughty!
25. At the end of the day. Footballers' stock phrase. A shorter option (and possibly a more manageable chunk for the intellectually challenged footballer, of which in the UK we have a clutch) would be: "In summary..."
26. Face time. The thing you get in front of the bathroom mirror. Meet. Just meet, face to bloody face.
27. Push the envelope. Use this and you belong in the mail room. Just don’t!
28. Robust. Thick-ankled, stout, sturdy – but not here, thank you. Say: Passionate. As in "I made a passionate defense of the right of mayors to misbehave. Repeatedly." Not.
29. Wellness. NOT a word! Health. Now that is a word.
30. Win-win. When one hears these words, one know that someone, somewhere will lose-lose.