With retirement comes responsibilities, and now that there will be two people at home all the time, it is time for a redistribution of the household chores so you can enjoy vacation and free time as a couple again. Household chores can wait, but there has to be a fair distribution to avoid resentment. After all, you are courting each other all over again, so have fun and be fair.
Common Conflict Issues:
- Wives complain their husbands expect to be waited on hand and foot after retirement or not incorporating the fact that household chores need to be part of their retirement plans. Educate yourself on what it takes to keep and maintain your home and schedule your responsibilities with your wife. This will avoid resentment and give you both what you crave: free time.
- Husbands complain that upon retirement, their wives supply them with an endless list of "honey do" jobs and they work harder than they did at the office. Schedule and agree on what will be done and when and avoid resentment and burn out. Retirement means freedom to do as one pleases, not indentured service as handyman in perpetuity.
- Wives don't know what to do with their husbands at home all day long and resent them sitting around doing whatever they want while they still have the cooking and cleaning chores. If the wife has been staying at home longer, she too, needs to retire. Talk about getting a cleaning service or finding an equitable solution because neither one of you should be held hostage to the four walls. This is your time to be free and have fun.
Communication at this stage may take some work but it is well worth it. You are in fact, starting over a new chapter in your life and if you really like each other, you will spend time enjoying activities together that were not possible when you both were working.
Communicate your desire to have time to yourself. Just like when you scheduled your work day, now you have to schedule your retirement. This is especially true if one of you likes being on the go at all times and the other one wants to have quiet and sedentary time. Not every one likes to devour books for days on end or hit the golf course at 6:00 a.m. on a daily basis. After all, fun should not feel like a chore or scheduled obligation.
Communicate with yourself and be honest about it. As we age, we may still think we can conquer the world mentally, but our bodies refuse to cooperate.