I called my broker the other day and got his answering machine:
Hi, you've reached Bobby Badinvest. I'm not available. If you're calling for Real Estate advice, press 1. If you have a question about your investments, press 2. If you need assistance with your plumbing, press 3. If you want to purchase milk, press 4.
I hung up. Which of the four was doing my stock picking? I looked at my IRA statement and concluded it was the milkman. I looked at my statement again and realized that neither the milkman, plumber, or broker knew how to pick a stock. I called back, pressed 2, fired him, registered for an online account, and am doing fine on my own.
Here's how.