If you ever wanted to be an MTV reality girl on paper Girl Wars Online is for you.
Capris with Heels
The text based iPhone RPG craze has produced more self-satisfying clones in recent months than any real design creativity. Instead of coming up with new concepts or innovative new gameplay they seem to copy others and repackage previous games under new layers of colorful paint. Now we have Girl Wars Online, a cheap attempt to sell iMob Online and iVampires Online under generous helpings of fashionable consumptive clichés. Yes, playing Girl Wars Online feels both like an indulgence into the darkest realms of intoxicating consumerism and female stereotyping at its most basic level. Somehow Girl Wars Online shift both of these obvious paradigms and brings a game that has all the fun of the originals and makes the added “character” charming rather than insulting.
Ovarian Wars
Girl Wars Online works on the same model that made iMob Online sell, except the names are changed. Instead of weapons you have items purchased from the Mall. Instead of regular fights between criminals you have Cat Fights between girls. Jobs are now Events, which is a little lazy even for this crowd. You perform Events until you have enough money to begin buying property. You gain items and level up to win more Cat Fights and have the ability to earn more income. The drill is very familiar.
Sisters Stay Together
What ends up making Girl Wars Online fun is that it really just plays on some of the more inane parts of popular culture. What place do skinny jeans and stilettos have in winning an RPG? Probably about as much as they do in real life. With this in mind you have a few laughs in Girl Wars Online, which at its basic suggestion that it is targeting girls as its main audience brings a touch of irony to your iPhone. The property feature is changed and simplified, which makes it a little easier to get started during the mortgage crisis. Somehow most people on the network seem a little more apt to making friends. Go figure.
Girl on the Table
Girl Wars Online does not bring much new to the table, but the same is repackaged in sparkling paper. If you had fun with the others then you just might with Girl Wars Online. Six out of ten stars.
