This article takes a special look on the effects of divorce on children. How will this affect the children's emotional, social, psychological and mental growth?
The children often stand to lose the most in divorce especially if they are during the crucial teenage years. Teens often seek their identity from people important to them such as parents. If parents are not available during this period, teens could form negative self-image which could affect their chances to succeed later on in life. Divorce often shatters the kid’s self-identity. That is why it is important for divorced parents to constantly communicate to their kids. Assure them that what happened was not their fault. It is also important to assure the kids of their unconditional love and support. Divorced parents should make the transition as less painful for the kids as possible.
The children especially during the turbulent growing years of 13-19 turn to alliances or find new friends to be able to cope. Kids that go through the same experiences often bond with each other. It is not uncommon for kids to turn to these alliances to be able for support. The downside of alliances is if the kids turn to the wrong people. Alliances play huge influences on kids. It is important that they find people that do not lead them astray.
A large number of children live in homes of divorced parents. An estimated 30 percent of all children in the United States live in one parent (usually the mother) household. Around 61 percent of all children experience living with only one parent at some point in their lives before they turned 18.
Children are susceptible to the effects of divorce. This is because their young minds could not fathom the depth of the problem. A child’s age during the parents’ divorce is a factor in the effects of divorce.
It is noted that immediately after a divorce, there is a marked manifestation of behavioral and emotional problem in all age groups. Infants may not understand the implications of divorce just yet but they do notice little changes in their parents’ responses to them. Consequently, they may show changes in eating or sleeping patterns have bowel problems and appear more fretful or anxious.
Children 3-6 years of age could not fully grasp the intensity of the situation yet. For those who understand a little, they may blame themselves for what happened. If divorce happens when a child is between 7 and 12 years, the child may incur problems in school performance.
Older children aged 13-19, especially adolescents, can fully understand the situation. They tend to believe that they could have done something to prevent divorce. They thought they could have helped patch up marital differences between their parents for instance. They feel hurt, angry and very critical of their parents’ actions and behavior.
Some teenagers have this inner longing to see their parents reunite in the future. They cling to this hope. When reality strikes and they see their parents dating other people, these teenagers would resent the person their parent is seeing. Acceptance of the situation would mean the end of their secret fantasy to see their parents back together again.