The influence of family structure on children’s outcomes and behavior is one topic that is subject to fierce debate. Children thriving in households of divorced parents are subject to transitions. Considering the impact of these family set-up is quite complicated especially the effects on children.
The family is the basic unit of the society. Wreck the family and you wreck the lives of individuals that comprise the community. This is what divorce does. Divorce is the dissolution of marriage. Divorce, no matter how congenial or smoothly it goes, is never palatable to all parties involve – wife, husband, kids even the in-laws.
Divorce had caused a lot of heartaches to a lot of loved ones. Family, friends, acquaintances – there is always someone out there that had gone through divorce. It is not unusual to see a number of maladjusted individuals trying vainly to cope with its devastating impact. The loss and the pain that always accompany any divorce cases are definitely not worth it.
Why do marriages end up in divorce? What are its effects on the people involved particularly the children?
Divorce is probably one of the greatest threats to family solidarity. Consider the statistics on divorce.
In the US, the divorce rate according to New York Times on April 19, 2005 peaked in 1980 at 41%. The rate has been slowly declining since. At 2002, it was pegged at 31%. The lower incidence in divorce is attributed to the current trend of living together or co-habitation without getting married.
A study conducted by American Law and Economics Review revealed that women filed fore more than two-thirds of the divorce cases in the US. Among couples who are college-educated, women account for around 90% of the filing rate for divorce.
Common arrangements which stem from divorce are alimony and child support.
UK management consultants Grant Thornton conducted studies on the main causes of divorce from matrimonial lawyers. The study showed that the main causes of divorce in the period 2003-2004 were:
- Extramarital affairs which account for 27-29%
- Family strains for 11-18%
- Emotional/Physical abuse in 10-17% of the cases
- Mid-life crisis in 13% of the cases
- Additions such as alcohol and gambling in 5-6% of the cases
- Workaholism in 5-6% of the cases
Extra-marital affairs occur most frequently among men which is estimated 55-75% of the divorce cases. In women, it accounts for 25-45% of the cases. Family strain shows women’s families caused most of the strain at 78% as compared to 22% of men’s families.
New York Times reported on April 19, 2005 that 60% of all those who filed divorce did not reach the first 10yrs of their marriage. Other studies showed that the first 7 years of marriage are critical because most couples seek divorce around this time.
Divorce lawyers however are seeing a disturbing trend - more and more couples who have been married for decades are seeking divorce. There must be something totally wrong for the couple to decide to give up after a great deal of time together.
Infidelity could be one of the issues. It isn’t unusual though the plain ‘growing apart’ theory could be another reason. Couples like my aunt and uncle who spent a great deal of time together one day discovered that their relationship had gone stale. Being good provider to their kids at the same time working towards maintaining the intimacy between the couple requires a lot of hard work. If these needs are not addressed, growing apart could be fatal consequence.