Anger is an emotion that is natural, universal, and understandable. It is an uncomfortable or unpleasant feeling resulting from mistreatment, injury, or opposition, often accompanied by a desire to fight back at the supposed cause of the feeling.
Anger is not always bad. Occasionally, anger can be useful, as long as the intent is to help and it leads to constructive actions. For example, learning to use the computer may irritate one enough to finally master the skill (instead of destroying the computer).
Anger is a choice. We choose if we want to have more or less of it. The world presents challenges, and it is up to us on how we react to these challenges.
The following are simple ways to help control anger:
Counting. Before you react, count to 10. This will help you to respond with less aggression.
Deep breathing. Easy, deep breaths calm the nervous system, relax skeletal muscles, and help control angry feelings. Think of a calming word, like "relax", or a phrase, like "I can handle this". Breathe in (from your stomach and not your chest) as you say your calming word, hold your breath for the count of five, and slowly exhale while repeating your calming word. Think of your stomach as a balloon that fills with air when you inhale and deflates when you exhale.
Visualization. There are a few ways you can visualize when managing anger.
Visualize a very pleasant experience from your life. When you recall a past experience in vivid detail, your brain and body can experience similar reactions to those experienced during that pleasant experience.
Use your imagination. See yourself in a calm and relaxed environment, such as a deserted beach with the sun setting or on the top of a mountain looking down at the clouds.
Do deep breathing and, when you exhale, visualize your anger being released from your body as flames through your mouth.
Redirecting anger. Redirect the energy of your anger into a more constructive way. Punch a punching bag, work in your garden, or mow the lawn. Exercise, yoga, meditation, and arts and crafts are other constructive ways of managing anger.
Keeping an anger journal. Keep a journal to learn more about your anger and how you can better control it. Write down the following:
- what made you angry
- what other feelings were you having
- where you were
- what time did it occur
- how you handled it.
The next day, read this entry and include ways you could have stopped from being so angry.
American Psychological Association: Learn more about anger.
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