Many people have wondered at the possibility of monogamy in real life; pointing to birds as poster-children of faithfulness and devotion in a species. The truth about monogamy in birds may be somewhat disappointing to those who define monogamy as a state of remaining mentally, spiritually, and sexually devoted to only one partner for the entirety of their lives “until death do us part.”
Many researchers have concluded that more than 90% of bird species demonstrate a heavy helping of monogamy in their mating behavior, especially around mating season. However a bird’s definition of monogamy varies somewhat from our romanticized, unrealistic ideal of it.
Most human beings become aware of the “problem” with monogamy once they reach sexual maturity. The idea we grow up with—that we fall in love, court our partner, get married, make babies, and live happily ever after is a pretty story, but the reality is a messy picture. Real, honest love doesn’t live by any rules. In so many ways, human monogamy is very similar to bird monogamy… although birds seem to have a much easier time with it.
What does monogamy actually look like in the bird kingdom? In some rare instances, like the wild goose and the bald eagle, a single mated pair will remain faithful to one another throughout their lives—unless one of them should die prematurely. Most songbirds remain faithful for a single mating season, sticking together long enough to build their nest and hatch their young. Come next mating season, the mating pair may find each other again… or they may fly their separate ways and find new mating partners.
For the majority of bird species, the capacity to love is incredibly obvious to birdwatchers. Birds demonstrate their admiration and devotion to their chosen partners with touching sincerity. Many mated pairs continue to “court” one another long after mating season has come and gone; flying beside one another, snuggling, kissing (billing,) and sharing food with one another, with no reproductive expectations.
Should one mate die, the surviving mate seems to go through a behavior of mourning, acting confused and deeply upset, before seeking another mate for the following mating season. While sexual monogamy isn’t always the case, even within some mated pairs, social monogamy--showing favor to one partner above all others--is incredibly common bird behavior. Birds earned their standing as the universal symbol of love not for their sexual behavior, but for their deeply loving and affectionate nature.