Parents don't think rationally about their own children. For example, if a bus were about to run your child over, would you not risk your life to save him? This is not a rational act. It's silly to suppose we can logically persuade an upset parent. There are, however, methods that work.
The original title for this article was "Open House Tips," and although this article includes tips for open house, it is much more than that.
I recall my first open house. Young and foolish, I looked forward to the event with enthusiasm, an opportunity to interact with adults and discuss strategies for improving student achievement. Instead, irrational parents, convinced I was on a personal mission to ruin their child's life, spent the evening finding fault with my professional competence.
Shellshocked, I vowed the open house ambush would never happen again. Instead of interacting with parents at subsequent open houses, I constructed a powerpoint that lasted the entire ten minute open house session, fielded no questions, gave thanks that open house was adjourned for another year, and began planning my Christmas vacation to the Dominican Republic.
My disdain for open house carried over to parent teacher conferences, phone calls, and e-mail messages.
Over time, however, my attitude changed. Most parents with whom I speak are cordial, respectful, and have their child's best interest at heart.
Here's how to deal with the rest.
With thanks to Dale Carnegie, here are 4 ways to win friends and influence parents.
Let's begin with the fundamental techniques of handling parents:
- Don't Criticize or Condemn: No parent wants to hear how awful his or her child is. Avoid criticizing the student. Simply state relevant facts: "Bob's grade is a 53% or Susan's missing two assignments" instead of "You're child is a waste of ink in my gradebook."
- Don't Complain: Don't complain about having to show up at open house or a parent-teacher conference. Chances are the parent made greater sacrifices than you to be there. Even if you have to fake it, be positive.
- Give Honest and Sincere Praise: Before communicating with the parent, think of a few positive things to say. I've had students straighten up, not because the parent made them, but because they heard me praise them during a conference.
- Arouse in the Parent and Student an Eager Want: What is going to motivate that parent to do what you want them to do? Show them the benefits of what you are trying to do. Show them the benefits of a particular policy or decision they may not like.