After we talked in the parent - teacher conference we were amazed how much we were going to now work together to help this student grow. We laughed. We cried. She told me that I was the biggest inspiration towards change.
In an ideal world, this would be the outcome of talking with parents . But somehow, this has gone horribly wrong. What meant to be a consolidated effort between parent and student has now become a battlefield where the parent is criticizing your teaching method, your view and even your experience. It has become a personal attack instead of a focused effort to help the student improve. How did this go so horribly askew?
You have now entered the dreaded zone for teachers : The Difficult Parent. Somehow, you have to now concentrate in appeasing this parent rather than focusing on helping the student that needed improvement.
That’s what you envisioned when going into the classroom to meet with the parent. Then how did it go so horribly wrong? Instead of talking about Casey, it became an attack on your teaching methodologies, your experience and even who you are as a person.What is wrong with this picture? How did teachers and parents become enemies instead of two players to help the student grow?
War is a Distraction
One of the reasons why Native Americans lost their land so many years ago is that the colonizers tried to get the tribes to fight within each other and become disunified. They were so distracted by the tribe fighting that they didn’t see the colonizers creeping slowly into their territories.In the same way, Students can be extraordinarily sneaky. They know they have done wrong and want to save their hide. Why not get their parents to side with them and attack the teacher? That way, they don’t get punished and they forget about what they have done.In my experience, teachers usually deal with three different kinds of scenarios that may have led to this situation : Gifted students, Behaviour problem students, and Struggling Students. All three of them pose different sets of problems and situations.In the following articles we shall explore these three scenarios and try to find ways around improving teacher communication as well as tips from other writers on how to avoid difficult situations.
