Don't let what happened to me happen to you. Learn about holidays around the world--Hannukah, Kwanza, Ramadan, Winter Solstice, Bodhi Day, Festivus, and Christmas before they get you. At the very least have a holiday activities lesson plan ready that teaches students about holidays around the world--Hannukah, Kwanza, Ramadan, Winter Solstice, Bodhi Day, Festivus, Christmas.
Here's my story:
The politically correct police (PLP) were out in full force and were searching for me. I had made inappropriate remarks to several students within earshot of parents, teachers, and administrators.
They arrested me at noon.
The interrogation began several hours later, preceeded by torture, duct tape, and really bright flashlights:
PLP: Why did you say those things to students?
Me: What are you talking about?
PLP: (flashlight crashes against skull) You know what I'm talking about.
Me: (desperate) Are you referring to the 13 students I killed last fall, the thousands of dollars I embezzeled from the chess club, or the blackmailing of the principal with compromising photos?
PLP: Don't play dumb with me. Your crime is far more serious. You wished people a "Merry Christmas" on several occasions last week. Our memo clearly states you are only allowed to say "Happy Holidays." I'll give you three days to remedy the situation or else.
Here's what I came up with:
In groups of 2-4, students research a holiday from around the world. My list included Hannukah, Kwanza, Ramadan, Winter Solstice, Bodhi Day, Festivus, Christmas-secular, and Christmas-religious (I had to appease the right wing extremists who threatened to bludgeon me with a Christmas tree if I got too politically correct).
- Each group makes a poster board, at least 18 x 24 with the name of the holiday and pictures of related celebrations or holiday symbols.
- Each group types a one-page explanation of the holiday including religious affiliation, national affiliation, holiday origin, how the holiday is celebrated, famous people who celebrate it, and any other pertinent information.
- Each group decorates a section of the room or wears holiday apparel.
- Each group brings in a holiday recipe, Groups earn extra credit for bringing in holiday food.
- Each group presents the poster to the class and explains the holiday to interested onlookers.
- Politically correct administrators examine the posters all week and defend you against spies who claim you repeatedly say, "Merry Christmas!"
Students enjoyed these holiday activities presentations and nobody switched religions, so tell the televangelists to quit e-mailing me.
