In a perfect world, all students would get along with each other during group work, all teachers would teach effectively, and all parents and teachers would have calm conversations and talk amicably to each other. Unfortunately we live in the REAL world! In the real world, educators deal with parents who are sometimes unaware that their little darling may not always be that way in the classroom; in fact they're more like little devils at times!
Fortunately, we as responsible adults and amazing educators know that there are many strategies to use when we deal with difficult parents.
I must start off by saying under no circumstances should you allow ANYONE to disrespect you or try to bully you because of a grade or disagreement over the behavior of a child. When situations escalate or have the potential to escalate, make sure you are ready and prepared to deal with it effectively. If a parent can't respect your position as an educator you do not have to be abused.
As in most situations, the best defense is a great offense. Be pro-active. This means have your records and paperwork in order! If you are organized and ready to show proof of classroom management, prior attempts to contact parents, and any dealings with administration to name a few, you can stop parents in their tracks before any problems begin.
I recall having a parent come to me during a conference night inquiring quite angrily about her son's very low grade. I remember her saying " I don't understand why my son has such a low grade in your class. How can you base a grade off of one test?" I calmy asked her why she thought his grade was based off of one test and she said her son told her so. I quickly informed her this was not the case or part of my grading policy and showed her a copy of my syllabus with guidelines for grades along with proof of all the zeros her son had accumulated over the past 4 weeks. So I proceeded to ask her did her son give her the progress report I had sent home just the week before, then next asking did she receive the last 2 phone messages I left on her voicemail as I pulled out the record of the date and time I left the messages. Of course her answer was no to all of my questions.
In keeping all the records and proof, I was able to combat any negativity associated with me and how I manage my classroom. Unfortunately she was still not satisfied and persisted in her frustrating comments.
"Well I work all day and take classes at night. How am I supposed to keep up with all of his grades and things you send home?"
This leads me to the next anti-tough parent tactic. Redirection. Let the parents know that you understand they lead busy lives. Heck nowadays, we all do. But the responsibility must lay with the student.
I redirected her attention to the efforts I make in class everyday to ensure the success of her child. Furthermore, I reminded her that ultimately, the responsibility is on the child, not the parent or teacher, to get their work done in a timely fashion and to behave appropriately in a classroom setting.
Lastly, be available to the parents. Inform the parent that you are always available to talk about any concerns they may have regarding their child's performance in your class. Give out school email address and phone number and return calls or emails in a timely manner.
So be pro-active, be understanding, be ready with redirection, and be available. Those headaches will go away quicker than you can pop an excedrin!
