In preschool and early elementary school friendships for girls are pretty basic. Girls play with other girls in their classrooms or neighborhoods. Certain girls are drawn more to some than others and early resemblances of cliques begin.
Basic personality traits are in place that play a role in who plays with whom, and who likes to do what. At this stage there can be bullying and being left out. The difference at this age is that most kids don’t fall prey to the old ‘what do others think of me’ trap and stand up for themselves more so than when girls get older.
As elementary school progresses friendships become more important, more intense, and sadly more inclusive of some while leaving others out. This usually becomes apparent around fourth grade. Girls compete for friends, find that sharing friends is a challenge, rumors get started, people are left out, and the heartbreak of losing friends and being painfully left out of the clique can begin.
But this is just the tip of the iceberg. Middle school ushers in a whole new era of friendships, bullying, and girl cliques. Teachers must be aware of what’s happening amongst girls in their classes if they want to foster the successful development of the ‘whole’ child. After all if one of your students is always feeling out of place and sad, they will have trouble learning any academic lessons.
This crucial stage, middle school, is so intense and one of the most difficult times for young girls and it is well worth looking at closer.
