Essays without thesis statements are easy to grade: simply write an 'F' at the top of the paper, laugh, and shuffle up the next paper. Unfortunately, essays without thesis statements demonstrate a lack of proficiency by the student and teacher. Either way, you're screwed.
On my way out the door, I noticed all the English teachers were busily grading essays. "Hey, Bob," I shouted as I stumbled into his classroom, "Not done with those essays yet? I finished mine an hour ago."
"How'd you grade them so fast?" he asked.
"It's simple," I responded, "I didn't teach my students how to write a thesis statement, so grading their essays was easy. I just gave them all F's. While you guys waste your time teaching thesis statements and then having to actually grade their essays, we watch movies."
"So, none of your students know anything about writing a thesis statement?"
"Nope."
"You're a disgrace!" Bob shouted. He moved toward me, stapler in hand.
Next thing I remember, I was surrounded by angry tax-payers. Angry tax-payer #1 shouted, "Get up you thief! Our tax dollars pay your salary and you're supposed to teach the children of this great state how to write a thesis statement. I suggest you start teaching thesis statements tomorrow morning, or you'll pay dearly!" The angry tax-payer clubbed me with a ruler and knocked me out again. When I awoke, I saw lesson ideas on my desk titled "Writing a Thesis Statement."
I now share these ideas with you.
Before writing a thesis statement, the writer must be aware of his or her audience and purpose. Unclear thesis statements emanate from the minds of writers with an unclear purpose. Teach students how to write effective thesis statements by teaching the following:
- You must begin with a topic question. If your instructor has assigned an essay question to answer, this step has been done for you. If you are doing a research paper, take time to come up with a good topic question.
- You must form an opinion and state it clearly. Do not be wishy-washy.
- Be sure you have approached your evidence fairly, without bias.
- Consider both sides of a controversial issue.
- Once you've established the topic question, a clear position, and objectivity, you're ready to write a thesis statement.