Teaching High School English is not as glamorous as the movies, nor as dreadful as mainstream media portrays. Here are the top 10 Myths about teaching high school English. It might even provide a little teacher humor for the end of the week blahs.
Teacher Humor
It's not hard to find. All you have to do for a little teacher humor is turn on the TV and comment on how stupid their image of educators are.
Teaching High School English: Myths 1-4
- Myth #1: High school English teachers sit around all day discussing and reading great literature and crafting Romeo and Juliet lesson plans.
- Truth #1: High school English teachers sit around all day reading Sarah, Felipe, and Nick's crappy essays. English teachers have no time to read, except in the summer. In fact, if you love reading, become a Math teacher.
- Myth #2: Students hate to read.
- Truth #2: Students only hate to read what we assign them. English teachers, as a group, are responsible for ruining more great books than any other group in existence. This problem is easy to remedy: 1) let them choose the book; 2) let them think they chose the book; 3) read them the book. There have been literally (yes, I meant that pun) millions of books written, which means there's at lest one for even the most resistant reader.
- Myth #3: English teachers can't do Math.
- Truth #3: I got an 'A' in Calculus. It's pretty annoying when the principal makes a snide remark about English teachers and Math. If the Math teacher's are so darn smart how come students in this country stink at Math? I'll tell you why: it's because all standardized tests are actually reading tests with specialized vocabulary, and Math teachers can't read!
- Myth #4: Some students just can't learn.
- Truth #4: Some teachers just can't teach. Teachers are quick to blame everybody (and with good reason, at times) except themselves. Teachers who enter the classroom with the philosophy that there's no such thing as a learning problem, just a teaching problem will find a way to get through.
Teaching High School English: Myths 5-8
- Myth #5: English teachers sit around and write all day.
- Truth #5: Like we have time to write?
- Myth #6:Grammar is painful to teach.
- Truth #6: Grammar is only kind of painful to teach. An English teacher who can make grammar interesting deserves a raise.
- Myth #7: All English teachers are flaming liberals that promote insurrection.
- Truth#7: Some are flaming liberals that promote insurrection. Some are conservatives who promote law and order. Most are just too darn busy grading essays and conducting notebook checks.
- Myth #8: English teachers spend their summers at home breaking down sentences and analyzing literature.
- Truth #8: English teachers spend their summers in the Caribbean and on golf courses breaking down sentences and analyzing literature.
Top 10 Lists
Here's a random assortment of top 10 lists, so random, in fact, that some top 10 lists have only eight items.
